A Brief History

When I was younger, I thought about being 50 and what my life would look like.  I saw a loving husband, adult children and even a grandchild or four.  I pictured a lovely home, possibly on a lake, and a comfortable way of life.  I envisioned family reunions, practical shoes, photo albums, a squeaky door, a labrador retriever, early to bed and early to rise, routine and stability.

As if.

I have a lovely home, or rather, it's lovely to me, but nothing else about that picture I just painted exists in my life.  Thirty years ago, I never could have imagined the life that found me or the life I've lived for the past 3 decades.  I grew up in a town of 800 people in Iowa and at 23, I set off for my adventure.  Adventure?  I'll say.  Along the way, I've experienced a full share of tragedy, gut-wrenching heartache, loss and betrayal and watched my family members suffer in addiction, divorce, poverty, abuse and a devastating hereditary disease. 

It's been overwhelming at times and I've wanted to throw in the towel more than once.  Not in a suicide kind of way but in a "I'm just gonna lock myself in the house and eat Ben & Jerry's with a side of Cheetos while chain smoking and listening to Adele" kind of way.  I did that for a few nights, but it got old quickly and I eventually had to leave the house to buy more Cheetos.

I didn't really lose my mind.  I was just shooting for dramatic effect when I came up with the title to my blog so I could get your attention because if you decide to follow it, I think you'll be delightfully entertained at the very least.  My hope is that as you read my story, you'll also identify with some of my thoughts, relate to some of the choices I've made surrounding my circumstances and be comforted by hearing it as it parallels your own story. 

Just to be clear, this isn't a blog about agony, pain and suffering.  You'll get a bit of that when I tell you about some of the no-good, lying, manipulative douche bags I've fallen for that I'm totally not bitter over (really, I swear!).  You'll read about other unfair and just plain kooky made for TV episodes of sheer nonsense, but the point of all of it is to show you that life is still good.  God is always good even when things don't make any damn sense at all.  Crummy circumstances and joy are not mutually exclusive, I have found, and there's almost always a lesson to be learned or a blessing to enjoy amidst the turmoil.  ...a silver lining, if you will.  You'll read about the silver linings, my exquisite taste in music and movies, my fantastic job, my adoring pit bulls Henry and Ruby, how I dominate in the kitchen, my travels and all of my neighborhood's debauchery. 

I know that I'm an extremely fortunate lady and my story is one of hope and victory, redemption and restoration.  I want you to hear about all of it because I think we're in this together. 

Stay tuned...