A Christmas Miracle

I recall, not so long ago, being frustrated about the absence of miracles in my life.  I thought that as a Believer, I should experience and witness miracles on a regular basis, but that just wasn’t the case.  I was missing out, missing wonder and missing joy.

A year and a half ago I entered into counseling, specifically because of a horrible break-up that I just could not move past.  I made up my mind going into it that I would be vulnerable and transparent.  I learned very quickly that one of the keys to recovery was to dive into the grief, and boy, did I ever do that.  I got an A+ in grief class.  I cried out to God on a regular basis, pleading with Him to rescue me from my suffering.  Out of sheer exhaustion, I started to examine my childhood upbringing and saw how it led to making some poor choices.  For the record, I love my parents deeply and I may or may not have been a challenge to raise.  I made note of every skewed thought that didn’t line up with what I knew to be true about God and how He loves us.  Intellectually, I got it, and believed everything I read in the Bible about God’s love, but I wondered if really feeling that love in your heart was an experience reserved for others.  For a very long time I felt like God had abandoned me and I wasn’t really sure if I could trust Him enough to completely surrender to Him.

I don’t exactly know how or when it occurred, but God redeemed my life.   There have been many revelations and lessons along the way and I believe that God revealed them to me not randomly, but as I was ready and according to His purpose.  I learned that judgment (of myself and of others) was a prevailing problem for me and when I learned to approach things without any preconceived ideas, it felt as if a toxin was eliminated from my body, leaving me with a powerful clarity.  Through my own pain, I instinctively became more compassionate towards others who are suffering.  I’ve always been a generous person, but I learned what it meant to be selfless, and how selflessness brings about beautiful and Christ-glorifying experiences and relationships.  I set proper boundaries that helped guard my heart and eliminate chaos in my life.  I identified my core values and stay true to them by basing all of my decisions on those values, becoming increasingly happy and fulfilled.  Through all of these things, I found in my heart a genuine spirit of thankfulness and realized that all of it is a manifestation of God’s love for me.  This is Christ living in me and I’m just beginning to see how magnetic that is, all for God’s glory, not mine.

I see miracles all the time now.   Nature and our bodies are miracles.  Science, beautiful music, art and medicine are miracles.  The idea that a Man, who was also God, willingly took His place on a cross to die an agonizing death for me, yet defeated death once and for all by way of a Resurrection, is a humbling miracle that I think about daily.  God  took a woman full of shame, self-loathing, anger and bitterness, restored her dignity and lovingly guided her to a place where she could see her identity and purpose.  She is bold and thankful and fearless and beautiful.  Her story is a miracle.

Enough about me, I think.  Starting with my next post, I'm officially turning Lost My Mind And Found My Purpose into a blog primarily about food.  Talking and writing about food, after all...it's beauty, it's preparation, it's enjoyment... is pretty much my purpose.

Stay tuned!